Time Flies

It's been a few weeks (ok almost a month) since I posted anything new. Life has been a little bit on the crazy side and yesterday I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I am working 2 1/2 days a week and I've been really earnestly trying to excercise and deep clean my house (I've gotten one room done in 2 weeks-pathetic). Sometimes I feel like I am the maid and that I work circles around myself and never get anywhere. So, yesterday I decided that I should be a good mom and take Karissa to the park for school lunch and let her play. We were there for an hour and a half and by the time we got home I was too tired to do anything else, so then I decided that I would go through my coupons and take all the expired ones out (I found that you can donate them to military families in other countries and they can use them for up to 6 months after they expire-what a donation!) I let Karissa watch the Bee Movie and before I knew it was time for Ben to come home- I hurried and started fixing dinner and he ended up being an hour and a half late getting home. I felt useless and frustrated and all of the above because it was my last day off this week and I didn't accomplish anything. Then I was feeling down because I know that there are other children out there for me but it doesn't matter how hard we try we just can't seem to get them here, and of course all the Mom's at the park were letting their older kids play and all had babies they were sitting with and holding and once again I felt like the outcast. I know Ben gets frustrated and tired of my feeling so low, but sometimes I feel like I am burning the candle at both ends and the harder I try the worse things get. He is very supportive though and I need to build my faith and trust up a little more. I hate for my new post to be complaints, but call it a relief of frustration so I can make it through tomorrow. Which is going to be such a blast- I have training for the upcoming election. Anyone know how to clone? I could use a break, but have too much to get done, maybe if there were two of me I could accomplish everything-wait I might need 8 or 10 of me!!! I know it will all work out- it just takes time, but in the mean time, time is flying by at warp speed.

Ben is still looking for a job and is working for some very frustrating people right now-so pray for us! We need all the help we can get!

On a good note- my flowers on my front porch are starting to fill out and look good- which is about all that looks good in my yard, can you say "Welcome to the Jungle" but I can't do it all- and I have strawberries that as of last night were starting to turn red. Karissa and I went outside everyday while they lasted and picked us a fresh bunch of lilacs-which were beautiful this year- and put them in the house, my favorite. And, we have our horses pasturing down the street and they told me I could pick their flowers-Peonies- my other all time favorite. So, we've had more fresh flowers in the house for the past couple of days which is always so much fun this time of year. And, I'll take pictures and post if we make it, but Ben's Dad is pouring concrete on Saturday and wants the grandkids to come put their hands it in for posterity. It should be fun. I love summer, but wish spring was still around I can't believe it went by so fast! The countdown is on 24 days till the birthday I don't want to have, but Ben told me he'd take me to the Manti Pagent this year since it is so close to my Birthday and we haven't been for a couple of years so that will be fun and as usual- the Stampede is coming up and if we can make it we have one other camping trip that we hope comes though, my family reunion and Ben's in July. Hopefully it will be a fun eventful summer with no more frustration!